#momentoftruth I’m strolling through the farmers market and the word focusing in my mind is SUPPORT and I came to the realization, boy do I hold a grudge! As I’m getting all these “invites” to events, I’m contemplating, “do I really want to give this person my time & money (what the invite was really for) when you were no where to ‘support’ ME & my fam when we NEEDED it and asked…”
Now I know holding on to that does nothing to the other person, they may not even know I feel some type a way, and usually I couldn’t care any less either, I just choose to never deal with you again. As weird as it sounds, I like knowing I have grudges against people. It keeps me humble and within my reality that sometimes its not as easy as “just let it go” somethings need to be remembered so they don’t happen again and if it does, you know how to handle it. Grudges also help other people to know and see “Don’t cross him/her, they’re crazy” that way people dont try you because they know you are capable of acting a complete fool.
I’ve come a looooooong way in how I think, act and respond, and its been great sharing and helping others do the same. However your life will be longer than the journey so its always an on-going process. If you don’t remind yourself to keep practicing those things, much like a drug addict or alcoholic you will slip back. I say all this to remind someone who may have “slipped” that its OKAY! You are not wrong for feeling how you do, its about how you respond and do you snap back to continue correcting it.