Things said/thought in the workplace- wild edition

Some of the craziness we participate in EVERY Tuesday morning with some epic people! #TMM (TuesdayMorningMeeting)

@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM We now have a pair of Asian sisters working in collections. Their last name is Ho. DO NOT walk in here asking “Where da Ho’s at?”

@4gotcommonsenseWhen customers are in the building PUH-LEEZE Mrs. Jenkins, take off those old pink slippers. #TMM

We’ve adopted the neighborhood strays as office security, they’re cool getting paid in leftover collards & kush cakes 

@KEMPSAIDWHAT#TMM we are installing surveillance cameras in the handicapped bathroom stalls to monitor the dice games. since people wanna lie & shit.

 Since they don’t get a check, the interns would like to “twerk for a tip” every Friday, that cool?  #TMM

@BTXpress115  #TMM who da hell left that bowl of Skins & Potted Meat in the microwave?!? 

‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM It is with heavy heart, that we say goodbye to Ricardo (our mailroom guy) No. he didn’t die….. just deported.

@KEMPSAIDWHAT#TMM Rose wants you all to know that she appreciates, all of your prayers…. But, Unfortunately she was still evicted. 

 ‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT:  #TMM If you drive a 2002 Purple Caprice, with “Bad Bitch”  logo on the side. Rent -a- Tire is putting you on blocks as we speak.

‏@BTXpress11#TMM I don’t care if school is out Tanya, get them bad-ass, bail jumpers outta the breakroom. Ain’t a damn doughnut left

@4gotcommonsense: When we get this new carpet, no eating at the desks, we have permanent chicken grease & kool aide stains 

 ‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT : #TMM Ok…. not a HUGE deal, but how many of you haven’t cashed last weeks pay check?

 #TMM Corporate has once again turned down our suggestion to turn the company mascot into a pitbull. Better luck next year.

 The new healthcare plan is a trip to see Ethel, she has Tussin,witch hazel, & castor oil.  If that don’t fix it, oh well.

@dcherry1973#TMM The battery in Edith’s hearing aid has been replaced she apologizes for what she thought were silent farts.

@4gotcommonsense: Can we get Claudette from doing hair in the bathroom? Shit & spritz is too much of an aroma  #TMM

@4gotcommonsense:  how long as we gonna have to use screwdrivers to use the company cars? #TMM

‏@jaycountry729:  the toilet tissue truck won’t be here til Friday…BUT we have PLENTY rolls of receipt paper #TMM

Reminder from HR, “the 104 personal days u get are called Saturday & Sunday, u want a check be at that desk”

#TMM We saw a repo truck circling the parking lot…. So if you need to creep to the window to check your shit, we’ll wait.

#TMM Whoever put “I GOT THAT LOUD” on the bulletin board in the break room, TAKE IT DOWN! that goes on the company FB page. Thank you.

@KEMPSAIDWHAT  #TMM IN this office, we go buy REAL names not STAGE names Mocha, Sparkle, Mercedes, Cinnamon, Jeremy.

#TMM I can’t believe i have to say this, but please stop walking around the office with your half smoked black n mild behind your ear.

@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM Oil changes are not allowed in the parking lot. I don’t care if it is your day off

‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM We don’t know who that Mexican lady is that’s doing waxes in the lady’s bathroom, but her rates are posted on the door.

‏@BTXpress11: #TMM  We  restarted the Co. carpool. We made Gus remove “Ass, Gas or Grass, nobody rides 4 FREE” from the side of his van

‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM New employee down in Collections, He name is Rollo, apparently he used to pimp in Detroit in 78, his numbers are impressive.

‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT: #TMM First thing I want to thank whoever “irished” up the coffee this morning…. I feel like they just turned on the heat.

‏@KEMPSAIDWHAT : #TMM Our office will not be affected by Obamacare, Our company insurance maybe shitty, but it counts.

Meet us next Tuesday on Twitter! 

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One Comment

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  1. Girl, this is quite the FUNNIEST THING I EVERY READ …smh lmbo…you I either one crazy behind to come up with this or need a release from ratchet city!!!!! Too funny

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