I want to know people,do you prefer a mate tell you up front that you will not be the only one he/she is seeing? Or would you rather believe you’re the only one, until otherwise stated?
Personally, I want a man to tell me up front. Now hear me out before you call me crazy. For me having a man tell me, allows me the opportunity to then decide if I will stick around or not. Now if I decide to stay and be #2,3,4… that is my problem and I lose all rights to being mad about him seeing other women, I know up front my time is limited and there is a chance I will be cut from the team. But I’d like to know, what would you choose? Are you okay knowing ahead of time you aren’t the only one someone is seeing? (This is of course, based off him being honest and straight forward in the beginning, not someone cheating on you. That’s a different story)
Speaking of which, I think up next we need to break down being the “other”, stick around this should be good.
Up front, because I probably won’t be sticking around….. I’m a one at a time sorta girl and prefer my man be as well.
I always say what mama don’t know won’t hurt her. I understand the honesty up front thing but do you really want to know his roster off the back. Isn’t that the point of dating? A coach don’t tell you who he is going to pick until tryouts are done. So remember most of you are trying out for the team, if you want to be the number 1 starter follow in kobe shoes and show that your thee best. Practice makes perfect lol
I can say from experience I’d prefer to know a man’s intentions. I was cheated on my a boy (who cheated on his girlfriend with me) and it still broke my heart. I should have set myself up for disaster before it even happened.
Similarly a friend of mine, beautiful, just incredible, started seeing this guy and he said from the beginning “Look, I like girls, so you’re not going to be the only one” And when they called it quits, she was over him in a heartbeat.
It is a sticky situation regardless, but just also I do not believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater”
In the beginning it does not matter. Everyone is auditioning for “the role”. Does a casting directing tell you how many people will be auditioning for a certain role? No. What get’s you the part is you being you. Always assume he is talking to other females because he is!! How much time you get depends on how interested he is in you. Now if you feel your emotions growing after some time that may be the perfect opportunity to establish where you stand.
I am an upfront “about face” person so I like to know from the beginning what he has going on because its all about choice.. I think everyone should have the option to know in the beginning whether or not they want to deal or not deal, no one like to be blind-sighted unless they have their own ulterior motive … I’d like 2 know.
I agree with shay_ron! Give the brotha an audition! Try not to fall in love within the first few dates! You don’t know him yet. Then when you think you may have a mutual friendship, have a conversation about being in a relationship and what you would expect from a longer-term relationship. I know that conversations like that are not easy, but you may also be able to see how serious he is if you have that conversation.
You can TELL someone not to fall in love within the first few dates, but I’m sure everyone knows at least one person who is a sucker when they are shown that attention.
Always assume you are NOT the only one, until you both have a discussion about being exclusive with one another. There’s no pressure on anyone to tell. Single people date.