I’m all for supporting the community you’re from, but where is the line where we allow people to move on and be great unapologetically? And when are y’all gonna stop GUILTing people to coming back and helping you?
I don’t put in all of this work to be the same!
There is this “rule” that once someone “makes it”, or does better than their upbringing they are obligated to go back and help someone else. Here is where that line gets thin, what if no one actually helped them, and why do I HAVE to go back and help someone? What if I choose to help someone else? That’s usually the guilt trip, people who tend to still be stuck in one place “reminding” you to remember where you’re from is still there, and they typically want you to help them, specifically.
This happened to me recently based on my voicemail (of all things), “oh you sound like a white girl on your voicemail” first of all why, because I spoke in proper English and enunciated my words? “I mean, you just sound like the white girls at the office”… PROFESSIONAL? “well, just don’t forget where you came from”… I didn’t forget, I also don’t have to walk, talk, dress or speak like I’m still there either, because I’m NOT.
I think that statement is supposed to be used to “humble” a person (or force them into submission, however you see fits) Stop feeling like it’s your job to humble someone cause you feel some type of way about their success. Stop thinking you can tell other people what to do with their money or their resources.
I remember where I’m from, but I’m more focused right now on where I AM. Truth is, some people who are from the same upbringing as you, that may not be doing as well as you, don’t like the feeling that you’ve surpassed them. How could you be doing better when we are from the same place, and I’m still here? Others don’t actually want help, they just want the handout. Others know how to use the handout and make it a part of the plan to do better.
I know some of you aren’t going to like this post, and that’s okay.
Great post! People always use that phrase in a way to assume someone has changed in some negative way or something. But as we get older and mature, are we not supposed to change? Are we not supposed to evolve into something better? I would never forget where I came from because it made the foundation for who I am, but it doesn’t mean I have to “act” a certain way, which is always perceived to be somewhat negative IMO. I came from a family and household who respects people, is honest, gives 100% to any task put in front of them and doesn’t take any crap from anybody…I’ll never forget where I “came from”, but I’m also not going to pretend to act like someone who doesn’t have the qualities I learned growing up.