As we grow it becomes more obvious to us what we want and don’t want in life, in a job, relationships and so on. After having a conversation with my friend I have to ask you all, do you have any deal breakers? The absolute thing you will NOT, bend on, accept or make exception for or the deal is off? The Deal breaker has to be the things that is absolute, whatever you’re entering into must (or must not) have or you will walk out, and you cant just threaten to leave, agree to “think about it” or let your friends talk you into accepting, you stand firm and walk away. These aren’t just the things that you want or would be nice for a significant other to have, these qualities must be detrimental to the relationship.
As for me, in a relationship I do not date (or care to even get to know) men with kids, even men that know they want kids. I am well aware I do not want any children and there is no reason I should have to deal with them. Now I know there are many men who come with a past, but there are also many men who meet that requirement and do not want children, after all a child may have come from the past but will be in the present and future. This is my absolute deal breaker, I have and will leave cut all romantic ties and will not even get to know men who have kids (the one on the way counts).
The purpose of deal breakers, standards, requirements whatever you want to categorize them as allows you to separate the bull from whats real, force people to either step up or step away and keeps you in control of what you want/don’t want. It also keeps you in line with the expectation and plans you’ve set for your own life. Deal breakers allow people to step up to your standards and come correct providing you with whats necessary to have the life YOU want and deserve, make people step up to your level. Men respect women who know what they want, stand up for themselves and have a mind of their own! Do not be that girl getting walked all over because you are constantly making an exception.
I leave you with this, my dad would tell me all the time “if you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything” so if you don’t have the list of absolute must haves or deal breakers I suggest you think back, look inside and get some, that is, if you want to remain in control of your life.
As I get older I am accepting that I will stumble across more males with a child or children, however, my Deal Breaker is too many baby mommas-RED FLAG!!(commitment issues/poor decision maker/does not believe in contraceptives). Another, Deal Breaker is not being active in your child’s life.