You Forgot Your Common Sense

He asks: My fiancee insists on keeping her single friends. She tells them stuff about our relationship and runs to them when she’s mad at me. Why would she even want advice from them? They’re single, what do they know about a relationship when they don’t even have a man?

Well… you mad, or nah? I’m going to attempt to be as brief and effective as possibly.

Those are still her friends!   It sounds like you have a problem with a specific individual(s) and the advice doesn’t benefit you, because I’m sure if they were saying something to your benefit you would have no issue. Doesn’t matter if they are single, divorced, married or otherwise, her friends are her friends and asking her not to be friends with them will cause issues.

Think about it this way, if she gives up all of her friends (the ones you don’t like) for the sake of your relationship, who does that leave…YOU. All the time, everyday, to do EVERYTHING with…  If you don’t like the friend, let her know and that you’d prefer to not be around them and move on or get used to being her BFF.

Now, I do understand some single friends can be bad news. The ones that want to do body shots all night, club hopping, using her as the wing-man. Those I can see being a problem, but if you love & trust her they aren’t even the problem, she’s grown enough to make her own decisions, so if she does something stupid while out with them, its because she wanted to.

There are the single friends that also give her raw truth, some of it benefits you, some doesn’t but she gives an honest opinion and this girl may be single for reasons beyond someone just didn’t want her. Game recognizes game, and this single friend you don’t like cause she knows your cards and one ups your girl. I wouldn’t discredit anyone because they are presently single, unless the relationship was with you, you don’t know their other relationships and what advice they can give you can learn something anytime, anywhere from anybody.  Sometimes it makes her appreciate you more.  If you were sick would you allow an off duty doctor help you? (I hope so) just because they aren’t currently working doesn’t mean they don’t still know. Now if this friend has ALWAYS been single, then its a bit sketchy but there could even be a lesson in that. Just like you’re writing to me for advice, sometimes its helps to hear another take outside of your own, what you choose to do with that info is your choice.

Do you still have all of your friends? Remember the term “bros before hoes” … yea you all started it, of course she still will keep her friends, just to have someone to talk to if nothing else.  You mean to tell me you’ve never hug with the fellas and mentioned how your girl “is trippin over nothing”? Same thing, different words. She has single friends because those are her friends, just because you’re in a relationship now doesn’t mean give up your entire life, it means ( or at least I think it should) mean bringing everything together.

–@xclusivelyshar