Okay, there is seemingly a bad piece of advice floating around. “Watch how a man treats his mother, and that’ll determine how he will treat you.”
That is his mother, who raised, fed, changed, provided for, and was either really great, or really not great. You dear bird, are trying to be his spouse/girlfriend/ significant other. NOT HIS MOTHER. If you want someone to depend on you, be fully responsible for, cook, clean, shop and raise (aka try to build, make better, or change) youuuuu should just have a kid of your own, chances are better that way.
A guy can love his mother beyond words and still walk all over you, cheat on you, abuse you, simply because you’re not her. Maybe he realizes you will never come close to her influence so he doesn’t care. Or maybe, that’s just how he feels exclusively for his mom- cause its his mom. This relationship just shows he, somewhere knows a type of love, and the love you’re searching for may not be what he is capable of.
A guy can hate his mother, try to burn her alive and treat you like royalty, for that very same reason. Since you aren’t her, he feels differently about you, he can escape whatever evil she may be to him.
You CAN NOT replace her. You CAN NOT compete with her. You CAN NOT try to make him choose you over her. The love is not and will never be on the same level. Thats just not the same kind of love. Do you really want him to look at you the same way he looks at his mom, while doing not so motherly like things to her son… *Think about it*. Didn’t think so, (unless you’re into that). You never know the example that was set in his home, he can love his mom, but watched her get dogged out growing up and just think that’s how women are to be treated.
Now if you find he is treating you like his mom, having you exclusively cook, clean, lay out his clothes, pack lunches, stuff he should otherwise as a functional adult, know how to do. He is either playing you cause you were dingy enough to do it or he really does need someone to play that mother role and you just gained a dependent.
Oh how much I love your blog!
Thank you @livingvigorously !