growing or grooming

There’s a difference between growing with a guy and grooming him… to be fit for someone else.

In some cases you’ll hear a woman who prefers a younger or inexperienced man because she can ‘mold’ him. The problem is once you take on this leading role, most times he no longer sees you as his equal in the partnership, you’ve become his caretaker, role model or authority figure, and he may learn everything you want to teach him, but he then can go to another woman, with all the perfect qualities, able to be the man she wants. You want a partner, not a child.  Now a man will eventually learn things about a woman that she likes and will do those things for her, but these need to be things he sees you too are capable of doing without him.

First of all, I don’t know too many real women who want a man they have to train or teach, because if you have to do that, then he clearly was not the man for you. Teaching an old dog new tricks is essentially changing who he is to fit your needs. A man knows when you are changing him and unless he wants & embraces that change, you’re wasting your time.

We’ve all seen it, a woman who is with a guy forever, that won’t commit and cant seem to get right, then moves on to a new woman & poof, he marries her and is the perfect husband. Why is this? Because the chick before was too busy grooming and he went to a new relationship, fully equipped to grow and be everything right for a new woman who appreciated the man he was when they met. I said in a previous post, a man will show you who he is and his intentions, you ladies decide if he’s the man you want, if not keep it moving right along, if not, the next woman will appreciate all your hard work.

And lastly, never show a any person ALL that you’re capable of anyway, they take your skills and use it against you…




Add yours →

  1. Those would be them cougars… if they claim they training the dude they should know how to train him to not leave to. The thing they don’t realize is that men can’t be trained. No matter how much u may try to mold a guy there is a chemical trait in a guy to say we can’t be owned or molded to any conformity that u may think u want us to resemble. A real man won’t be trained, only allow the woman to think that.

    • In some ways this is true, but I’m seeing it more and more within women who are younger. I absolutely agree, however I don’t think a man will even allow a woman to THINK that. Usually men make it known they are not playing that game, and will not change unless they want to.

  2. I tend to think a woman who thinks she’s “molding” a man is only teaching the man what he doesn’t like. That man, when he goes off and finds new love, has been better able to avoid making the same mistakes. The new woman probably, much more so, accepts him for who he is.

    • usually women just “mold” you into the man THEY want you to be. Has nothing to do with enhancing who he already is, women are manipulative like that. Even with teaching a man what he doesn’t like- its like brain washing, maybe he didn’t mind it until you told him he didn’t. This becomes tricky though because what may have been a mistake in one relationship could have been praised and an attraction to another.

Get in on the conversation

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: