You Forgot Your Common Sense

*Disclaimer- today’s rant contains sexual content,18+ advised. Okay, not completely but the last thing I need is someone’s parent coming after me for talking about something their kid is going to encounter anyway.

It’s been said over and over and if you haven’t heard it before let me be the one to tell you. DO NOT send unsolicited di*k pics!!! If she wants to see it, she will ask. If you want to show her, ASK if she wants to see it. WAIT for an answer and then proceed accordingly. Now if you’re married and want to spice things up, by all means (just delete it after you send or your kids, if you have any, will be completely disgusted) but when you’re single, this is a classic sign of rape culture (thanks, Charlemagne) and forcing yourself on someone.

With that being said, I have a serious question… do Y’all take pics like we selfies? Taking 20 pictures of your junk and choosing “the right one”? 

Creep of the year, we will call him John Doe, decided for whatever reason to violate my phone in the middle of the day sending me his business… But not one shot… 2! I didn’t need any of this let alone different angles and poses.  Was this thought out? Did he find proper lighting? Did he practice which way made him look most flattering first?

John then proceeded to tell me “I thought it would win you over”, which further lets me know you put GENUINE thought into this!! Bruh, … Then after being called out proceeds to tell me “oh no, I was trying to gain a friend.” Yes, yes you were but the “friend” you are trying to reach, is controlled by me- and the common sense I have.  (this is the actual conversation, it’s too stupid for me to make up)

Ladies, he is NEVER just trying to be a friend. Well, not with “you” anyway, just “her”. It’s a bit of a double standard though, cause men never turn down unsolicited pictures, it really makes y’all day better, where my iPhone and I had been violated.

I’d like to thank Joe, uh I mean John Doe, (yes that’s his name, NO IDGAF, come at me if you want, I took screenshots and would love to show your wife, put you in these creep exposed groups, then teach your daughters how to accept a fuckboy since you obviously think its acceptable) for creating such great laughs in my group chats and bringing the ladies closer together.

So fellas, 18+ please, I will not be sued for underage activity; do you send di*k pics, if so do you take multiple then send the perfect one? Why? did she ask to see it? Did you decide she was “acting like she wanted the D” and just decided to put it on display? Do you realize this is risky if she’s seen better and you WILL be subjected to the group chat with her girls? We may lie and tell you we won’t show anyone but we do! And yes we talk about you, actually, we drag you.

Chime in, let’s get this long weekend started with some open and fun communication.