Things in the dating world have taken a sharp turn down a dark sketchy alley. No one actually dates anymore. Standards got lower, legs got easier to open, & roles got reversed.
“We just chillin” – Chillin = the cheap shit! Something that involves no effort, money or public appearance. Chillin would have other been known as the courting stage. Where you show interest and begin the process of having a person around for their company.
“we just kickin it”= I’m getting to know this person. In this stage, you actually can be seen in public! (you lucky thang you) This is when you get past the infatuation and actually put in effort to get to know the person you are spending time with. This is the limbo stage, it could go wither way very quickly, there is a thin line between the friend zone and becoming a boo.
“Finally dating” A relationship, clearly defined. **Disclaimer: just because you have been “kickin it” more than 9 months does not mean you’re in a relationship, this will be for another post, but is definitely how you get your feelings hurt.** When you’re past the first two stages, its normally asked, now a guy may not out right ask you, and if he doesn’t ladies you need to ask him what it is you are to his life. Men live by titles so trust, no matter what stage you’re in it has a label.
The fact that a break down was necessary is quite an issue. The things gentlemen used to do is almost non existent. Men and women have become so comfortable, the need to actually court and date, especially before sex, is unnecessary. Women started stepping up doing the things men would have normally done, and with that, men realized they no longer had to work as hard, if at all. I’m not sure which generation dropped the ball, but its most certainly not looking good for the future. Now days if a woman challenges a man to do something as simple as, oh I don’t know, open a door! Guys look at you as if you’ve asked them to purchase you a home. Lets face it, standards, expectation and reality have gotten low.
Women should do the just kicking it phase before the we just chilling phase. Make him work and get to know you and you get to know him before the we just chilling phase. It should be a privilege for the guy to be in you personal space after getting to know you. Does the just kicking phase mean it has to be a monetary date? No it just means don’t be locked up in his house or yours all day everyday. Go to the park, get ice cream, go get coffee, these are not that expensive but they require conversation.
I definitely agree! I am unsure why women accept this stage? In some ways on both ends standards have been lowered to where this is acceptable.
If you’re wondering why you can’t get in a relationship stop just chilling, because just chilling will turn into just having sex before you know it and finally dating may never exist. The best advice ladies, keep your legs closed.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, isn’t that the saying? Most dudes in reality of this era don’t want to be tied down. Some women have their set plan of when they want to do things by (job, marriage, kids) they know what time frame they want to accomplish things by, which is why they think kicking it is more than kicking it. True just cuz you kick it for 9 months don’t mean the guy has to be with you. My advice is if you gonna kick it, tell the dude your expectations upfront and don’t get mad if he throw the deuces. lol
You probably have the best advice, but many wont take it, not at first because they are so busy trying to get a dude to notice or like them they will accept anything so long as he is spending time with her.
Reblogged this on You Forgot Your Common Sense.