You Forgot Your Common Sense

I am unsure how many of my readers are married or have kids, but those of you that are know that kids and money are two of the leading factors that can tear through a relationship. Is there ever a such thing as spending too much time, or too close of a time with your kids? I don’t even know how that’s possible. When you’re married or even in a relationship, you’ve spent time with the person before, and will be there after, so you’ve got time to spare for your kids. Just as you say ‘I do’ and vow to spend your life with a significant other, you do the exact same when you have kids. It needs to be understood when you have kids, your time now must be shared. Deal with it! A lot of people believe regardless of their kids, they must still come first, well that’s a bit selfish.

Now if you had your own issues with your parents growing up, chances are in some way your own kids are going to pay for it. It may not be intentional, but it happens.  The purpose for many when getting married is to have kids, however, if you had kids cause you screwed up your own life, and want a second chance, need housekeepers, trying to keep the other person from leaving, you should be smacked.

I cant even begin to imagine what would make any person get mad over another parent spending time with their children. That is a problem most women would beg and kill for, but do the most complaining. This is a problem that has the potential to draw a huge wedge between the parents. Not only will this little kid up to dislike her as her mother, depending on how the father reacts she will feel disregarded  by him and will cause huge trust issues with them. You can not want an open relationship with your kids then be jealous of them or want them to pick sides.  This is a classic example of someone I believe may not have been totally ready to not be a priority. Some women just couldn’t help not being the center of attention, but to have an issue with your blood is ridiculous. I say all the time how parents need to consider everything they do, say and how they treat their children because as the parent  you’ve got to get old and tables will turn.  Kids are not as stupid as they look, most of the time they know more than they put on and they do remember. The best thing I can tell any person feeling this way towards someone they should have a nurturing relationship with is to take the time to be alone, learn who you are flaws and all, accept those flaws. Get a hobby, you shouldn’t even have the time or energy to let your mind wander to a place of being jealous of your own kid! Ask yourself what exactly is it you’re jealous of, if its something selfish- there’s a point of improvement to begin self improvement.

If your kids end up being the reason your relationship fails, I’m beginning to believe you weren’t ready to have kids. I mean really, what message are you sending to your kids? its okay for them to come second to a significant other? I assure you that’s what kids see, they are not as important as you pleasing a man/woman, even if it is their mother/father, it should be equally spent, you’re kids didn’t ask for this.  Fact of the matter is both parents should have the ability to spend time with their kids. If you are getting mad because of the other parent’s time with a kid, maybe you should step up and make it a point to have quality time too. So is it your marriage first, or family first?  I always thought when married with kids everything should work as a unit, boy was I wrong.