Listen, there are things in life that are mandatory, standards and expectation, there is no way in hell you’re suppose to be seeking praise for things you’re suppose to do anyway!!!
No, I’m not applauding or rewarding that you’ve never been to jail, I’ve never heard any parent say a goal was to raise a criminal, law breaking child, I didn’t know that was really an option.
Now i definitely understand graduating from college is tough and a big deal to people, however, when you decide to enter higher education its kinda already understood that the end goal is to graduate, so good job on finishing, but that’s what you were suppose to do anyway.
Praising effort is like getting a trophy for simply showing up, in life you’re expected to try, to face challenges and to pursue things even if difficult. There is no praise for trying, now if it ends up in a result you were seeking, then acknowledgement for reaching a goal is great, but then again that was a set goal, so it was expected you reach it. Getting good grades, being a productive member of society, a good parent, doing a job well the list goes on and on are things that are naturally expected, no praise for that, note how these things usually don’t get any type of recognition until you’ve messed them up & don’t poorly, that’s life, as long as you’re doing what you’re expected & suppose to do you go unnoticed, but oh the second you mess up, it all comes down, parents blow a lid, spouses throw tantrums, bosses flip out, why? because that wasn’t the expectation set.
All I’m saying is there are certain things, that just will not be praised when you’re suppose to do them! Every time you seek someone’s recognition you’re asking for judgement and approval. If you say you’re going to do something, just do it- for yourself, which in reality is damn near impossible. Humans seek the approval & recognition of others, we have to be wanted, praised and made to feel important, but when you begin to do something just for praise rather than things you’re expected to do anyway, you just look needy & self centered. I’m sure though, it sucks to not be recognized for your job or efforts, but you signed up for it and agreed to do whatever it is, so you’ve gotta just take the fact there is no special award for you doing your job or what it is you’re suppose to do!
I think mild praising should be done. I was raised in a home we’re there was no praise but there also wasn’t a distinction between if what I was doing was ok, good, or needed improving. It got to a point where it felt like there was no middle ground and by parents would never be pleased which made me stop caring.
I totally agree a child should not be praised for doing what they’re supposed to do but if they’re doing what they should it should be acknowledged. After all kids really just want to make their parents proud and give them something to brag to their friends about.
Praising is not saying, praise you for finishing, but more like encouraging you on the effort you put forth and the completion that was obtained so that you can be encouraged to go to the next step. The reason some of those do deserve praise is because not everyone can do them or did complete them. How many dropouts do you know? Do you praise them for trying? Heck no, a nutless monkey can try, but it takes someone strong to finish the job. Now I understand the seeking praise is wrong and shouldn’t be the intent of your goal. But when you look at the backgrounds of where some people were raised, or hear how so many are the first in their family to do those things, a little praise should be given in my opinion. If I become CEO of a company and no one in my family has ever reached that status I would say that deserves some type of praise, as long as that wasn’t my intentions for doing it. But hey Tomato, Tomoto