rules of jumping; jumpee edition

Rules to being a GOOD side chick!

The Jumpee is the person entering into a relationship as a side piece.  I got these rules from a real life jump-off, she laid everything on the table as to how she lives her life this way, later she tells why, here are her rules that can’t be broken:

No real feelings; you are to fulfill whatever void the main chick is lacking. That’s it! You don’t get attached, you’re not allowed. You don’t get mad when he is somewhere else, with someone else. Never argue, you’re the get away girl, you should never cause any headache or stress. 

No babiesYou are an option. A man wants to keep you that way. Having a baby forces him to have to have a life long relationship with you, do not make moves to stay for a lifetime when you were written for a season.

Never shoot past your mark, it should be clearly laid out why you’re on the team. Never have expectations to become the main chick,or wife. Surely if he will cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you.

Stay in your lane! You may be number 1, but accept you’re not the only one. You don’t get certain privileges, feelings,or rites to certain aspects of the jumper’s life. You can’t ask “Where were you,” “Why didn’t you call me,” “Why are you always so busy,” “Why don’t you ever see me,” “Who were you on the phone with” Back to your corner. You’re only entitled to what concerns you and your role directly.  

Follow the rules laid down, if a man tells you your day is Wednesdays, stick to that. You go calling or coming around on Thursday or Monday, not only do you get embarrassed & cussed out,  you lose out. The second you break a rule he has set- you’re gone.

Have an incomparable skill, the reason you’re chosen is to fulfill whatever the main chick, other chick or wife is lacking. You need to have something that makes you irreplaceable, or, you’re easily replaced, he should never be bored with you.

never be too familiar; if for any reason you bump into him somewhere with either his main chick, other chick or wife. You make NO acknowledgement unless he does, & in which case needs to be some distance, no hugging, pet names, nicknames, inside jokes, have a made up back story how you know one another just in-case, never linger around, say hi & keep it moving.

Leave no evidence, depending on who you’re dealing with, wear nothing with a fragrance, glitter, gloss, or marks.No tweets, emails, pictures, never call or text first- only respond.Do not save receipts, texts, videos, pics, clothes, screen shots etc for blackmailing purposes.

Know what you want, for it to be an even exchange, its expected for you to want something in return (other than that person) pick a price; gift, cash, car,trips, rent whatever, you’re giving up the goods, you should gain something in return.

Tell only the friend that can fight or get you out of jail, other than that, tell no friends. This will indeed test loyalty, and depending on who you’re dealing with, you may not want this to be the ammo someone disloyal has.

Safe sex; nothing that will leave physical evidence that you were around. Always protect your health, always stay tested.

Never judge another who is in the same or similar situation, ain’t this the pot calling the kettle black.

Always look snatched, the jump-off should be his trophy, you must ALWAYS look runway ready when out with him. Cheating men don’t downgrade.

Less is more, never look into the background of the main chick or other chicks, this is a sign of feeling, jealousy and weakness. Don’t ask about, stalk,spy on “her.” Don’t BOTHER “her.” Don’t talk shit about “her.”  Once you open that door  concerning “her” you’ve started an internal silent competition between you two. She may not even know she is competing but now you’re so bent on trying to be “better” or more “desirable” than her that now you’ve started going the extra mile for the same “position”. Never allow him to talk about her either, when he’s with you, you’re the one, she has no place in your life. 

Alright you birds! Here is your ammo, if you follow these rules you will have a long, happy & smooth journey being the side chick!

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One Comment

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  1. 3rdLegKickStand June 2, 2013 — 5:20 AM

    Wow, this look like i can just copy and paste this to a contact. This would be ideal for the perfect side chick… But jealously is a hidous bitch. It won’t always go down like that. Very valid points though. Should teach a side chick/guy class. Call it Side piece 101: “stay in your fucking lane”

    Ok, it was up there to have a price… What if all she want is the business? Just sayin. It happens. And those tend to be the worst ones. (Side chick or not) smh.

    Over all I feel the tools in future side piece will ever need is right here. Peace!

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