“Earn Me”

So if anyone out there watches Scandal like I do you saw the moment Olivia Pope tells the president he must “earn” her. For my guys that don’t watch to quickly bring you up to speed, there is an off again on again love affair in which the side chick is tired of being told she is the love of his life and tells him he must now earn her to be with her. So after this scene I will admit I liked seeing Liv stand up for herself, however, I also watched my twitter & other social media sites blow up with women proclaiming “earn me” to men around the world.

Now some of you birds ain’t worth being the free prize given away with a happy meal let alone to be earned. Understand first you are not a form of currency, although women around the world are sold on a regular basis you should not have figured a monetary value in which you can be bought or ‘earned’. If you find you’re one of the many screaming this out… well you’re not that important.

Respect, trust & loyalty  are undoubtedly things that have to be earned.  In the same sense, a woman should indeed be earned. But women you have to be worth it. A man should put forth effort to to show that he wants you. Guys, just because you’ve taken a girl on a few dates does not mean you’ve earned anything more than a companion. Are your intentions genuine & clearly stated, are you putting emphasis on more than money being spent & are you ‘earning’ respect? These questions matter.

So what did Liv mean when she demanded the president earn her? Now up until this point, Fitz was winning, he had his main thang & jump off playing on the same team.  She means make her a priority not an option, for her not to be #1 but the only one. To be respected and spoiled as such, now spoiled doesn’t always mean spending money on, to take interest in her interest, at least learn about what she likes, spend time with & on her.

Now I KNOW that scene gave some of you side chicks LIFE! Howwwwwever. Remember, that was written, you birds are still outcast to your designated days. The problem with the women going around screaming this to men now is they want to be warned but don’t know what to look for or appreciate other than money. You birds will never be earned, you’ve been bought. If you are one yelling this every chance you get you will never be earned, if you were, a man would already been showing you everything you need and that statement would be unnecessary. Real women don’t have to be ‘earned’ because they are appreciated, respected and treated like a priority to begin with, remember that next time you tell a man he needs to ‘earn’ you, chances are you’re not getting the treatment you want for a reason.



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  1. As we discussed before, I do agree with you. However, as we know this term will be used and abused. A woman is to be earned, worked for in order to obtain her company. It should not be so easy to get under a females skirt like your opening a bag of chips. So earning a woman in that aspect is understandable, the term fits. But back to being used and abused, just like Beyonce’s most recent single “Bow Down”, or term “thirsty” (which is a whole other conversation for me) that tern along with “earn me” will be taken and ran to the ground and used incorrectly. Being earned DOES NOT mean buy me this and that, pay my bills, and get my hair and nails did.

    Earn me SHOULD mean, make me your main priority, show me you have goals and ambition, prove to me that you are the man I need to my time and effort into. Which leads me to my next statement; a potential “relationship” should be a 2-way effort. Not just one party going out their way to prove to the other that they want to be with them. Show interest in each other, NO! THAT’S NOT BEING THIRSTY. This statement can be taken a few different ways. I’m interested in seeing what others think or have to say.

    Also, if you are a jump off or side chick and you KNOW that you are, you have absolutely have no right in using this term. None at all.

    • Very well put!!! I agree with you 100%, we all know the main ones that will abuse this term are the ones that don’t understand and don’t deserve its treatment.

      • If you have to even tell a dude to earn you, you are ALL the way losing. It amazes me how “women”, I mean chicks go into a situation as a side chick expecting to be “earned” You gave away those privileges of being earned when you become the side chick. Only 1% of side chicks actually end up with the guy in a serious relationship, so side chicks PLEASE stop thinking he will leave his main to be with you. If your therapist/role model is Olivia Pope, you have yet to understand the difference between television and reality. There is nothing about Olivia Pope’s personal life that I like, admire, or feel I need to learn from. However, when it comes to her assertiveness, aggressiveness, wittiness, and business savvy mind I am all in. Females need to understand what to look up to, what to take as a lesson, and what is simply a good writer!!

        Guys, just because you’ve taken a girl on a few dates does not mean you’ve earned anything more than a companion. <<<<<<——–thanks to females with the side chick mentality this is exactly what that equals. But this pertains to a guy looking for a chick, not a man seeking a woman.

  2. Apimpnamedslickback May 9, 2013 — 9:17 AM

    Ok ladies let me let you in on a little secret. It doesn’t matter what we do because you all are very fickle, don’t really know exactly what you want and until we actually put a ring on your finger we are just leasing the pu**y. So when you say earn you what you really mean is nigga get your sht together so we can get married because I’m not about to be waiting around for your sorry a** to figure it out. Unquote. Because c’mon let’s be real about it, if many of you could have it your way all of these dudes your dating would be locked down with ball and chain (that would be you). I mean no offense but ‘m just being real here, I mean think about it, what’s the next step after dating and a relationship… go ahead I’ll wait……. DUH! Marriage, so don’t give me that earn me bullshi*t because when its all said and done at the end of the day you will always want more. We can run around here trying to spend money time and effort to please your indecisive ass but you will never be content. Take fcking destiny child for example, first they were singing bills, bills, bills,… I want a man to pay this and pay that do this and do that… a few years later… I want a soldier, I want a thug, I want a roughneck.. B**tch the nigga that’s paying your bills is not going to be the same nigga out here in the streets. The dude that’s out here slanging and banging is not going to be the same guy saying oh I’m going to be late for my data intern at google… So quit with BS and be happy with what you got, because obviously he did something right to get your dumba**

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