Things I hope don’t happen to me when I get old:
unexpected & intentional release of body functions; Old people know their best defense is passing gas, burping or any of those other weird sounds they make.
Yelling at people about that damn grass- we all know one, and most of them pay someone else to cut it, why are you ready to rumble over the grass?
Start any sentence with “back in my day…”
stuff kleenex in their sleeves….
Save their cups from McDonalds, burger King, etc and always try to use them for free refills when they go back there to eat a week later (this makes me laugh)
Picking up change! Any and everywhere! Have you ever seen an old person walk under the drive thru window to get the change people have dropped? I have
Buy everything from QVC- Did you really need the butler toilet tissue statue?
Hate younger people- for whatever reason anything older from a baby, they hate.
going to the hospital for something embarrassing- the old man that took too many viagra now its ‘stuck’, breaking a hip while having ‘fun’, & accidents in HoverRound crashes
getting into fist fights with other old people- this is funny but sad.
Whats your thoughts?
You Forgot Your Common Sense 
My favorite with old people is they have no filter lol….talk about straight no chaser!
SOOOOOOO True!! They will say ANYTHING, don’t think twice, nor do they care to. That’s raw responses and will tell you (and mean it) they don’t care if you don’t like what they told you!