Rules of the first date- female edition

Okay ladies, you’ve got him to notice you and he’s asked you out. Congrats, lets talk about the first date. Chances are he will ask you what you would like to do (although we’d like him to make a decision) So come up with something that will be safe, interesting, affordable and simple, possibly something with an activity (bowling, art gallery, wine tasting). The first date is enough pressure, this way you guys can focus on something else, it gives you something to talk about and something to dodge behind if you have any clumsy or awkward moments.

Ladies first, drive your self!! In today’s society you have to think safety first. On a first date there is no need to have him picking you up from your home and driving you anywhere, hopefully I don’t even need to explain why.

Show up on time, be polite to the waitstaff, and give your date your undivided attention.

Have your own money- just in case. Now we hope he will pay, but again with the men today its better to be safe than sorry. He doesn’t need to know you have the money but just in case he decides to look to you for the bill or for you to pay your own way you will be covered. Note: If you offer to split the bill, be prepared to actually split the bill. Don’t play games, have this decided ahead of time.

What to wear, consider where you are going, but you want something that shows you cared enough to put thought into seeing him, but not so much you have overdone yourself or left nothing to the imagination  you want to leave something for him to imagine, anticipate and work for, leave your hooker heels and hoe dress in the closet.  I like flat ballet shoes on a first date in the event I have to run, but that’s just me.

Hemming and hawing all night — “I don’t know, what do you think? What do you want to do? It’s your call.” — isn’t attractive. If your date gives you options, pick one.

Go somewhere public, well lit and preferably while the sun is still up and there are other people within yelling range.

Put the phone away, now obviously you’re not leaving home without it, however, you’re suppose to be getting to know someone that you potentially wanna build something with so just as much as you want his undivided attention he’ll want yours. No texting, tweeting, Facebook, IG any of that. If you feel you must absolutely take a call, excuse yourself, take your call and  keep it short.  Hopefully you’ll be dating a gentleman that will do the same, and if not, maybe you can lead by example and he gets it.

Have something to talk about, have questions or topics already in your head, there is nothing worse than staring across from someone going “so what do you like to do”.

Drinking:Okay ladies, if you are not a drinker- this will be easy for you. That’s who you are, that’s what you stick to- don’t drink. If you are someone that enjoys an occasional festive beverage, if you are feeling up to it, go ahead. However, remember this is a first date, you want to make a good impression, you don’t want him thinking you’re a lush and you definitely don’t want anything clouding your judgement, common sense, or perception. So my advice- know your limit and stop before you reach that limit. If you’re unsure, watch his drinking pattern, if he is slamming drinks back- this isn’t going to end well.

The amount of time you spend together during this time is essential, dashing out right after your event or dinner usually sends signals you cant wait for it to be over, spend too much time lingering and you seem desperate or clingy. After your event, spend some time going back over what you experienced, engage in conversation (nothing over an hour though), thank him for a nice time out and be done.

Be careful to not share too much on a first date. This isn’t an arranged marriage; you’ll have second and third dates to share more. Be clear about physical boundaries if he’s over-eager. Sex on a first date is never, ever a good idea.

Hopefully this will help you make it smoothly through a first date, now stay around because we’ve got to discuss what to do if this date goes horribly wrong.



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  1. This is great advice! I personally will not go on a date with someone before we have a conversation over the phone. It is nothing worse to me than sitting across from someone and neither of you have anything to say……I was given the advice to just go on dates, if it goes bad just leave in the end I got a free meal……If I was a gold digger or looking for a handout that would be ideal but I cherish my time and choose not to waste it on someone not worthy, plus I have my own money to buy food if I’m hungry I’m not going to torture myself for a meal. Ugh!

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