You Forgot Your Common Sense

“COMPETITIVE SALARY:”
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:”
We have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:”
We don’t pay you enough to expect that you’ll dress nicely.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:”
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“MUST BE FLEXIBLE:”
On many occasions, you’ll be asked to bend over and grab your
ankles.

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:”
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

“DUTIES WILL VARY:”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:”
We have no quality control.

“CAREER-MINDED:”
Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).

“APPLY IN PERSON:”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been
filled.

“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:”
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal
formality.

“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:”
You’ll need it to replace the three people who just left.

“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:”
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.

“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and
do it.