too much too soon

Ok, lets address these individuals who are moving way too fast. Now, personally, I’m not very trusting, so you’d be privileged to know my last name within a month.  I’m really not sure why,(I have my own conclusions), but there are some individuals who get entirely too excited in a situations & are jumping the gun. I’m just gonna say why its important when walking into a  new situation, to just sit back, observe & shut the fxck up.  (Yes, my language is a tad harsh here (get used to it) but sometimes its necessary)

Now one conclusion I have, is these “independent women” these women are where they want to be career wise, have been in love before, have completed all major milestones in their life and a guy, marriage & kids are just up next on the things they want to have accomplished ( usually by a certain age) so they are ready to just knock the last bit out and start the next goal. you crazy, blinded birds are the ones getting snatched up! Stop trusting people within the first 5 days you clowns. You appear way too needy, you may not get that same affection back, and you’ll prove you’re willing to drop your own life for someone else- all unattractive signs.

The second types to jump into a relationship ready to move in & get hitched are what I call “runners” fellas, when you meet this chick, unless you’re ready for that- walk away. This female has gone through something major recently that she wants to bury by doing something equally as big if not bigger, this chick is unstable. Oh ladies, its not just us, guys will do this too, run. This person is going to burn out any chances of anything long term, if you do everything upfront, there is nothing to look forward to or grow on.

Sometimes things in life really are too good to be true. I’m not saying be like me, but I do believe people need to go back to having their guard up and putting some resistance into themselves. Never show your opponent everything in the beginning, or at all as far as I’m concerned. Most people will trust until you give them a reason not to, I’m the exact opposite, I don’t trust anything until I’m shown a proven reason why  I should.  When approaching any new situation, job, place, or people its always best to feel them and their intentions out, listen to what exactly is being said and going on around you, a lot of situations can be avoided if you’d pay attention. Sometimes a person can be giving you a  warning sign that they want to be in control of what you do and who you see – regardless of what you want.

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  1. You receive what you put out. Sometimes you have to question why you go about developing relationships the way you do. What type of men are you trying to attract? Is it the male you don’t trust, yourself, or the idea of being vulnerable to someone. My reaction of how I present myself to an individual depends on how I am approached. I agree some people should not know much about you, but you have to ask yourself how you market yourself to men as well.
    I can honestly say when people jump the gun into a relationship their is some insecurity/loneliness, whether from the male or female. It can be related to longing for a relationship again, companionship, being hurt, etc. Sometimes people naturally have that attraction and pull to one another, its rare but it happens.
    The independent woman is always faced with a challenge because while she is out trying to develop, compete, and maintain a career the men are being snacked up while she is hard at work on her goals. Should she rush into a relationship? No, but once she has accomplished her goals years have passed, the dating game has changed, and her sense of urgency for completion rushes her into relationships. It has more to do with companionship than anything else. That want to share their dreams and life with someone, and the fear of being lonely for the rest of their life.
    The Runners…..let them be helped. Their issues and insecurities run deep!!!! The runners are running from themselves.
    When dating, the quickest way to end things is to go in with your guard up. How can you allow in what someone is offering if you have this heaven high fence? The purpose of life is learning, adjusting, and adapting. Let the past be the past, in the end you will always end up hurt and alone if the past always have the ability to control your present and future. The biggest victory will come when one can understand that love does not hurt you, people do. Analyze yourself and your past, learn, leave it, and move on. Love is beautiful and it feels amazing, it brings out the best in you even when you don’t feel your best.

    • I definitely agree you get back with you send out, For sure, but what about when you meet someone and a week in they hit you with being in love? I think to a point, especially in the beginning no matter what there should be some boundaries on how much of yourself you reveal. Sometimes people who take on “captain save a h*e” tendencies tend to do this because they like feeling needed, and they smother you with the affection they think you need. I agree the independent usually want that companionship, but even they need to know, not to rush just because they feel lonely. All I’m saying is yes, get to know someone and let your guard down, just know there is an appropriate time to reveal certain things. Do I want to know you were abused as a child on the FIRST date? Nope. Do you want a person calling & texting all day after just a week? Nope. After a month you want to move in together? Not a chance. Jumping into a new relationship, job or whatever isnt the problem I wanted to address, I wanted to talk about your pushy actions once you’ve gotten the position you were looking for. For me, it seems a bit crazy and a turn off when a guy is going way too much and he barely knows me. People often do what they THINK or have been told the opposite sex wants & likes before even getting to know a person. I personally don’t want to be called & texted all day long! No telling me you miss me after 2 dates will not make me want you, but if you take the necessary time to get to know me, you would be aware of that instead of jumping the gun. Sometimes, though these people have ulterior motive and decide to move quick to get to their goal, but as fast as they come, they leave.

  2. The awesome thing about dating is regardless of where the other takes it you can always opt out. Should that matter you build a fence? No. The “captain save a h*e” tendencies tend to do this because they like feeling needed, and they have control issues as well. The one who provides, controls….someone’s theory, doesn’t work on me but it happens. As mentioned you have to understand how you are perceived. Maybe that person needed to get that off their chest and you just helped that person. Sometimes you can’t take things personal. That may be a friendship developing and you may have helped to save someone’s life. Patience is definitely in order, you can definitely find out why people do what they do. Normally it is based off past relationships. Every female is different and a man trying to generalize a way to approach a woman is the wrong way. That individual may not know texting and calling drives you insane because the last person they talked to loved it.
    I’m just playing the devils advocate of why someone may do it. Sorry, darn optimism!!!!

  3. Ok, I must say that I agree with you on this one. Chicks do fall head over heels for a dude that says and does the right things… Right up until the point he gets the cookie out the cookie jar. then its a wrap. That’s why many chicks get they feelings hurt and heart broke because they was so blinded and gave up to much way to quick and set they self up for failure. Give a guy something to look forward to without actually giving up to much. And try to actually to get to know the person you are dating before you let your feelings take over. Hence the reason for the term “date” i.e., (appointment, courtship, the judging period) u know the rest. But seriously, if a n***a know he can them panties the first day or even the second, he ain’t going to want to marry you or treat you how you deserve, hell I wouldn’t lol. On that note make sure the person you claim to leave is your equal in many ways otherwise it will be a lopsided relationship and someone will end up with a lopsided expression on there face.

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