So here is my take on the whole “make it work” thing. If something is meant for you, it will happen and fit into your life, not saying there won’t be obstacles and work that has to go into keeping something, but it will be just that, effort to continue. When you have to make (to fit, intend, or destine by or as if by creating) something work, you’re forcing things to happen chances are its not for you!
When married people have kids, and they stay together or make it work just for the kids does that make matters better or worse? Here’s the deal, kids aren’t stupid, so if your marriage is failing believe they see it. If a parent is down talking the other, someone is cheating, or they can’t even be in the same room together, what message is that sending? Its okay to be mistreated and unhappy as long as there is something significant enough to accept the abuse? Yea that’s great. “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” –Frederick Douglass
This is just as bad as women who get pregnant or keep a baby thinking it’ll make a man stay. NEWSFLASH doesn’t work like that, and some of you birds get what you ask for and its not all that hot! Karma for trying to make a situation that wasn’t destined for you.
As long as your kids know they are loved and its not their fault your marriage is crappy there is no reason to make yourself stay in a situation you don’t want to be in, cause believe one unhappy parent equals a totally miserable household. If you people decide you wanna make it work, come up with a list of reasons and if all you have in common is the kids, you may wanna re-think some things. Its easier and more honorable to tell a kid the truth, handle it in a mature way (don’t disrespect the other parent or keep a kid from seeing the other parent) than it is to make everyone miserable, show your kids bad habits when it comes to relationships, and teach your child to accept being unhappy.
Sometimes you end up losing yourself trying to hold on to someone that 1) wasn’t meant to be in your life forever and 2) doesn’t care about losing you.